The Dirty Dozen

David Hinkley feels like starting some shit: the NY Daily News columnist decides to beat yet another dead horse into the ground by listing what he calls "The Dirty Dozen: The 12 Best Rolling Stones Songs". What's next: a song by song comparison of Exile in Guyville and Exile on Main Street? It's not that we disagree with the exercise so much as it's been done sooo many times before in the last decade alone. Of course, that doesn't make us any less immune to it. (We only have once song in common with Mr. Hinckley's list but we're on the same page when it comes to "Satisfaction".) Here's a couple of Stones-related lists from the "5" vaults:

MR. JONES’ 5 FAVORITE STONES ALBUMS (in chronological order):

1. Sticky Fingers (Rolling Stones Records-1971)
Welcome to the ‘70s. The Stones will be your guide.

2. Exile On Main St (Rolling Stones Records-1972)
Their ultimate album and one of the great rock and roll classics. Decadent, raunchy, awesome.

3. Some Girls (Rolling Stones Records-1978)
The punks may have said they were rebelling against the rock and roll status quo exemplified by The Stones. But privately, no one in their right mind would ever dis this one.

4. Emotional Rescue (Rolling Stones Records-1980)
Not a great one, but we have a soft spot for it, nonetheless.

5. Tattoo You (Rolling Stones Records-1981)
The last hurrah. Their final stab at remaining The World’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band.

MR. JONES’ TOP 10 FAVORITE STONES SONGS (in chronological order):

1. "19th Nervous Breakdown"
One of their coolest tunes. Just ask The Strokes: they’ve based their entire sound on this song.

2. "Ruby Tuesday"
A psychedelic classic.

3. "Gimme Shelter"
Not only a classic, this baby also boasts one of the greatest intros ever.

4. "You Can’t Always Get What You Want"
"but if you try, sometimes you get what you need." Amen.

5. "Can’t You Hear Me Knocking"
The Santana-like jam at the end of this track is one of the major highlights of guitarist Mick Taylor’s stint with the band.

6. "Happy"
Keith’s signature song: "I need a love to keep me happy".
For us, sometimes this song alone comes mighty close.

7. "Shattered"
By 1978 disco and punk had threatened to make the Stones obsolete. This was their way of fighting back.

8. "Beast Of Burden"
Soulful, bluesy, and hands down, one of their very best. A bedroom classic, as well. Oh, yeah.

9. "Start Me Up"
The last great Stones classic. Great video, too.

10. "Waiting On A Friend"
Mick and Keith’s musical tribute to their long-lasting friendship. Plus a great solo from jazz giant Sonny Rollins. Beautiful.

Honorable Mentions: Gotta fit "Under My Thumb", "Time Is On My Side", "Paint It Black", "Let it Loose" and "Send It To Me" in there somewhere, though.

There’s a million of these, but here are 5 interesting ones:

CHARO and the SALSOUL ORCHESTRA / "Let's Spend The Night Together"
Yes, that Charo. We’ll let you make up your own mind about this one.

DEVO / "(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction"
When covering a song the idea is to make it your own. Otherwise, what’s the point? One of the coolest covers in rock and roll, period.

PETER FRAMPTON / "Jumping Jack Flash"
More Stonesy than the band’s own classic. The rare instance of the cover actually improving on the original. Look for the version off of Frampton Comes Alive.

BETTE MIDLER / "Beast Of Burden"
Midler covers the Stones? Bleecch! Not even Mick Jagger’s appearance in the video could save this one.

BRITNEY SPEARS / "(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction"
"Satisfaction" is one of the most covered songs of all time, so it merits double mention. It’s also been desecrated more times than we care to list (memorable among them: Justine Bateman’s all-girl bar band in the 1988 film of the same name) but Ms. Spears’ version is just plain horrendous.